Thursday, November 22, 2012

U-Jin's Tales OVAs; or, how everyone is a pervert.

I check this blog every few days or so. I'm generally fairly curious to how people find it, how many people have come across it, and what they were searching for to find it. I like to pry into your personal life and exploit it. Maybe I'm the disturbed one? Here at Anachronistic Otaku, we explore the darker realms of the anime world and delve into the psyche, asking such provocative questions. Some of the results are quite comical; some are fairly disturbing, which also kinda branches over to the lurid corner of the comical netherworld. Seeing someone look up hentai for Minky Momo and find my page was slightly questionable, yet probably generated some sick form of cynical entertainment for myself, admittedly. It seems like it never fails, but whatever anime or manga I talk about, someone will look up porn to it, and thus, find this blog.  Nausicaa doujinshi seems to be quite a popular one (how dare you), as well as Kentaro Miura Berserk rape. Usually one big, googled sentence fragment of nastiness. Can I not please you without displaying the erotic? Am I too boring?

 Well, guess what? I'm here to answer your call of perversion and to sate your animated carnal desires!

U-Jin was, and still is, an erotic manga artist. Not strictly hentai in every work (as I will go over shortly), but an artist who could tell and draw sensual stories, yet with an emphasis on comedy, rather than stimulation. U-Jin's tales have the ability to question one's sexual morals and fetishes, which at times can be somewhat disturbing, yet truthful in its humanism. But...yeah, most of it's just perversion.

Kitty Media/Media-Blasters released a compilation of various U-Jin OVAs into one DVD released, titled The Tales Trilogy. Originally, all three sections (Tales of Titillation, Tales of Sintillation, Tales of Misbehavior) were released on VHS individually for outrageous prices. The DVD release came out in the early 2000s for about 50 bucks, which was really quite a deal, especially considering each VHS release went for about the same price, with only a third of the content. Oddly--and thankfully!--enough, the DVD is still in print for about half the price, although one must be aware this was an early DVD release, so features are minimal and picture quality certainly isn't stellar. I'll be going over each "theme" and the stories within, with pictures from most. Boob slippage and dirty implications will be in order, but nothing graphic for all those that search up sensual anime at work. I know you're out there.

Tales of Titillation
 Easily the best of the three anthologies, both in animation, narrative, and delivery. Nothing like starting off with a bang.
Playground Nostalgia
 Playground Nostalgia is the first of the Tales of Titillation anthology, and easily one of the best animated. Any fan can instantly note the art of Satoshi Urushihara of the leading lass. Urushihara was also one of the lead animators in a few of the stories, so one can expect high quality and fluid animation--oh, and, uh...jiggling. Playground Nostalgia emphasizes sexual humor, but as well as some rather taboo fetishes, making this one of the most disturbing tales of the lot. A geeky stereotype with freckles and glasses makes an attempt to look at a girl's panties, whom happens to stroll by a local playground each day for a fairly disturbing reason. Bordering(?) on pedophilia, I'd easily imagine it's the most uncomfortable tale I'll review. The geeky virgin must dress up like a schoolchild to fulfill his sexual desires, which can kinda imply where this story goes. Imagine Dorf Goes Fishing and a teenage girl that enjoys being poked by children. Not really the first time Urushihara has delved into such a theme (see his Lady Innocent art book if your curiosity must be filled), but I guess it could be worse. But the animation is really good, right!?

 How to Get a Pizza For Free

Delivering pizza to the local legends, the Saotome family, is unheard of! No pizza delivery boy has made it back unscathed! The Saotome family always gets their pizza for free, as it's impossible to deliver one to their high-rise apartment in under 30 minutes. A local pizza restaurant gets another call from the Saotomes, and the entire staff feigns disability, leaving a rookie--and presumably virgin--pizza delivery boy to do the job. Nose bleeds everywhere, for every step the poor pizza boy takes, one of the young girls of the nymphomaniac Saotome family awaits at every corner to deter him. Changing clothes in an elevator, masturbating on the stairs, and sticking her naked backside against the window are a few tricks to getting a free pizza. Free information for anyone who cares to try it.

Sailor Warrior Akko
 Part Magical Girl, part Kaiju, Sailor Warrior Akko is probably the funniest--and dirtiest--story of all. Mainly appealing to me and my infatuation for all things giant monsters and clever sexual humor, Akko delivers on all fronts. From the Darius-inspired "WARNING: A PERVERTED SALARY MAN IS APPROACHING" to a giant man having sex with a building, this is hilarious perversion done right; or, perfect comedy for sick bastards who love classic anime and science fiction. You choose. Acidic semen attacks, tokusatsu fighting, sailor magic girls; everything is here. If this was a series, It'd probably be my favorite thing ever. If I ever get rich for writing shit blogs about old anime, this is the series I'll make. Maybe a kickstarter is long overdue.

Tales of Sintillation
The weakest of the anthologies, with a comparative time restriction and more stories than the other two anthologies to blame. Six stories shoved into 35 minutes is certainly pushing it. Some have their charm, but largely part two is comprised of silly one-shots with a pinch of flesh for good measure. A lack of screen caps due to volume, with exception from the worthy stories.

What a Happy Story
The ugliest, nastiest, fattest loser in school accidentally has sex with the prettiest, blondest, most popular girl in school. Short and to the point, and mildly humorous in its execution of slapstick, this story works for what it attempts to accomplish. I laughed, and I have no soul. But I'm also a deviant.

How to Get Over a Slump
 SPORTS HUMOR. A pitcher is going through a slump. He can't throw a strike, or even a straight ball for that matter, and the game is about over--that is, until the female manager steps in as catcher! One can assume from the screen cap why the pitcher instantaneously becomes the Nolan Ryan of anime. Sex saves the day, as always!

Aim at the Ace!
A hilarious parody of the popular tennis manga and anime, Aim for the Ace! Bold lines, stark lighting and freeze frames are brilliantly parodied from Osamu Dezaki's distinct style. A diehard, pushy coach trains his all girl team everyday, but at the end of practice one of the girls are chosen for "special training." Hilarious, short parody, yet with a pretty blunt, hateful ending in regards to unattractive women. Welcome to misogyny!

Actually, the rest of the stories are pretty bland. Maybe I'm lazy? Judge me if you will. Brief summary: Three girls go hiking; they talk about horror stories that aren't funny. Toilet humor within. A doctor creates an android to fight evil, but can't stop having sex with it. And a group of super deformed characters find an ugly woman in a safari setting. Another Satoshi Urushihara story as well, but it's not a very interesting one. A Chinese esper becomes a call girl and pleases guys without touching them. Fantastic animation as one could expect, and worth seeing for any Urushihara fans, yet not up to par with the rest of the anthology, and I'm getting lazy. First half of Sintillation is well worth watching, but the last half really isn't even worth talking about. OR I'M LAZY.

Tales of Misbehavior
A good anthology within. Humor, perversion and holiday cheer. Not quite up to par with the first anthology, but superb animation, humorous stories and attractive character designs.

Lusty Long Distance Commute
Japan has a problem with subway groping, so it's really no surprise a story like this exists in the anthology. A decent, hard working salary man hops on the train for the commute home, only to be bombarded by multiple occasions of accidental oral intercourse! Humorous in the delivery, and especially in a few scenes of "x-ray" animation, the story irregardless remains slightly disturbing with the prevalent subject material. Girls fall asleep on your crotch all the time, but only when your pants are unzipped, right? It ends happy, though, as he vows to work even harder for his family after his unexpected ride home. Salary man sexual epiphany gives me hope for the future!
Matches For You
Matches For You is a holiday story of a hardworking, innocent family man that just received his bonus. Off from work, he runs into a melancholy street vendor girl who is trying to sell roses. Touched by her sweet innocence and the brazen display of disrespect from the other citizens, the man decides to buy a rose from her, as she is obviously struggling on this cold, Christmas eve. The man is quite surprised that each rose amounts to 10 dollars a piece, yet he still donates for the poor girl's cause. Joyful in his donation, the girl claims these are special roses and pulls him into a dark alley, for when a single rose touches a spot on her panties, that section disappears. Amazed, the man seeps into debauchery and desire, spending every last cent he owns in his moment of sexual desperation. A charming holiday story, indeed! The only serious tale, and quite a depressing one. Brutally honest in its depiction of morals and sexual drive of the underlying temptation of urban humanism, Matches For You may be the best tale; or, at least the most ambitious one.

Part-Time Nurse
A young nurse is "volunteered" to help out this particular evening, as most of the staff has departed and tension is in the air. A certain recurring patient has been administered in the hospital, leaving the doctor in panic. The young nurse must rise above and help the patient, but the only way to do that is to take off her clothes! Probably the summary of most anime with nurses, but not as nasty as the aforementioned ones as well. A giant body builder routinely comes to the hospital in question, only to show how buff and tight his muscles are! No needle can penetrate his perfect body! As the doctor cowers in fear, it's up to the young nurse to expose a certain vulnerable body part and dispose of the narcissistic muscleman! A good way to end the anthology, as well as the trilogy. I wish I was that buff.

A nice Project A-Ko reference in Matches For You

Each anthology also ends with some classic 90s Jpop, which I will upload whenever I have the time. All perverted songs by teenage girls, of course! If I don't, someone remind me and I'll gladly do it. 
Hope you're satisfied, pervs.



  1. I hate to do this but you kinda force me to it...

    Where are my updates, dude?
    This one of the last bastions where I'm safe from moeblobs and digital colouring.

  2. Yeah, I've been slacking! :/. I've got a few ideas I've wanted to do lately. Should be writing something this week if all goes well. Thanks for reading! Hopefully I can update a bit more regularly in the near future. :)